Espen on Attraction

How do you look at yourself? This may be the most vital element towards becoming who you want to be. In this article, I will explain the central parts of attraction. I will put in plain words what attraction is based on, and how you can work with yourself to be who you want to be; an attractive person. The social order promotes a negative self-picture, but it is possible to turn this way of thinking. This requires effort and focus, but is without doubt attainable.

Attraction - how to be an attractive person?

Attraction is the feeling of desiring something. The basis of desire is the uncertain factor whether you can get a hold of it or not. Desiring is also caused by the fact that you are not in charge of the situation 100 %.

To exemplify this, picture a situation where a girl feels that she has control over a boy’s actions and feelings. If the boy doesn’t stand up for what he says and does, the girl will get the feeling she has the upper hand of him. She “owns” him. This leads to loss of attraction from the girl’s point of view. She wants what she doesn’t know if she can have.
If you are afraid of losing the girl you are talking to, your way of acting will turn irrational. The communication will be based on the girl’s premises - instead of thinking “what do I really want?” . If you are willing to relinquish everything you have attained with the girl, you demonstrate to the girl and yourself that you are an independent person.

If the only reason you go to parties is to hook up with girls, this will stop you from being the attractive person you want to be. You will lose your energy as an independent person, and it is this energy itself that attracts girls. Your need is easily seen through, and this places you in the wrong category. Your focus ought to be on socializing. Challenge yourself to have interesting conversations with people - with girls you’re not attracted to as well.  When girls see you socialize, this works as an approval of your attraction - and you become more attractive.

When you go to parties just to have fun, you radiate positive energy - and this makes you an attractive person.

Self-confidence

Body language and emission is a result of your core-confidence. You can “fake it till you make it” during a training process, but it will always show if you are sincere or not. You can improve your sincerity. To work with your core-confidence, put yourself in challenging and demanding situations and you can visualize your desires.

How you feel, is a result of how you look at yourself. You can control your own thoughts. You can make clear and thorough pictures on how you want to feel. If you feel bad, you make detailed pictures of how you feel from habit. It is manageable to learn to make these detailed pictures on positive matters as well. With exercise, you can convince yourself that you are worthy. Visualize being a successful person. Visualization requires training, but is a powerful tool towards being the attractive person you want to be. When you visualize, it is important that you picture thoroughly. Color the picture. Sounds, shape and details. Create authenticity.
Value

How you feel follows from core-confidence. It radiates if you are a person that strives for value opposite a person possessing it. If you strive to accomplish value you are dependent on affirmation from others, different from persons finding their value inside themselves. Visualization is a remedy towards finding your value.

In practice , it is important to state your lines. Girls will try to extend your lines to test your value. A person with high value has integrity, he is independent. This is attractive to girls.

Still, it is important to remember that there is a fine line between you marking your boundaries and the girl feeling cared for.

It requires training to become an attractive person. You have to take an active part in pushing your own comfort zone. By pushing yourself, you will gradually manage to be an attractive person because you don’t look at yourself too seriously and you are present right here, right now. Remember, you have to feel attractive to be attractive. Everything comes from within.